Get In Touch
Get In Touch

Why starting counselling can feel daunting

Exploring why starting counselling can feel daunting, and why you don’t need to have all the answers before taking that first step.

Charlotte Walmsley

9/16/20263 min read

black blue and yellow textile
black blue and yellow textile

Why starting counselling can feel daunting

For some starting counselling may not feel daunting at all. But for many others, simply acknowledging that

counselling might be helpful can feel like a big step.

Perhaps you've been thinking about it for a while but haven't quite picked up the phone. Perhaps you've

searched for a counsellor several times and then closed the page.

Or maybe you've found yourself wondering:

What would I even say?

What if I don't know where to start?

What will they think of me?

And perhaps one of the biggest questions:

Do I really need counselling?

There isn't one reason why starting counselling can feel difficult. For some people, there may still be stigma around talking about mental health or seeking support. Cultural or family beliefs can also shape how we view counselling and whether it feels acceptable to reach out. For others, it may simply be the vulnerability of sitting down with someone they don't know and talking about things that may have never been spoken about before.

What do you think counselling is?

I think it's worth pausing here and asking yourself that question.

What is your perception of counselling?

If a friend or family member told you they were going to counselling, what would you think?

Now imagine that you were the person going. Would you have the same response towards yourself?

Sometimes we're much more compassionate towards other people than we are towards ourselves.

I remember feeling the same way..

Before I started counselling myself, it wasn't something I'd really considered.

When the time came, I remember wondering:

"What do I need to say?"

"Am I really expected to tell my whole life story to a stranger?"

"What will they think of me?"

It felt daunting. Scary at times. And, if I'm honest, overwhelming.

But I gradually learnt that I didn't have to arrive with a perfectly prepared story. I didn't have to know exactly what I wanted to talk about. And I certainly didn't have to be or do anything other than myself. Counselling gave me a space where I could explore my experiences without feeling judged. I could begin to understand how those experiences had affected the way I saw myself, related to other people and responded to the world around me.

But perhaps most importantly, it was my journey.

What I wanted from counselling mattered. What I was ready to explore mattered. And the pace belonged to me.

You don't need to know what to say

A common worry when considering counselling is not knowing where to begin.

You don't need to have your story prepared.

You don't need to understand exactly what's happening.

You don't need to have a diagnosis.

And you don't need to be at breaking point.

Sometimes you might simply know that something doesn't feel quite right.

That's enough of a place to begin.

And yes, there may be difficult conversations. There may be tears. There may be moments where things feel uncomfortable. But there can also be smiles, laughter and moments of relief. Counselling isn't always doom and gloom.

Counselling jargon can sometimes feel like you need another dictionary. But you don't. I know the lingo. You know your world. The counselling room is where those two things can meet.

And together, we can make sense of what's happening for you.

This is at the heart of how I work

This is something I carry into my own practice.

As an integrative counsellor, I don't believe counselling should follow a set formula. You are the expert in your own world. My role isn't to tell you what to do, how to think or how to feel. I don't live your world, but I have the privilege of sitting alongside you as you make sense of it.

Instead, I work alongside you with warmth, empathy and without judgement.

The therapeutic relationship is at the heart of my practice. Creating a space where you feel safe, heard and genuinely understood can allow you to explore things that may feel difficult to make sense of alone.

And you remain in control of what you share and the pace at which we work.

Starting counselling doesn't have to mean having all the answers

Feeling daunted about starting counselling can be completely understandable. You may have spent a long time managing things on your own. Allowing someone else into that part of your world can feel like a big step.

But counselling isn't about handing your life over to someone else to fix. It's about having a space where, for a while, you don't have to carry everything alone.

You can arrive exactly as you are.

And we can start there.